I must say that I had fallen by the way side. A lot has happened since my last post, as I am sure I will explain in more posts to come. The last few weeks, I have been wanting to start writing on my blog again. The reason I haven't is because I have felt like a failure. I didn't want to post about something I'm going to do, and then not do it. So this morning I was sitting in the suana at the gym (sweating out the fat) when it dawns on me that I have a 'ALL OR NOTHING' attitude... and I had better lose it quick.
In fact this morning I had wanted to get to the gym to start a new class.... however I overslept and was late about 10 minutes and I'm not about to join a class late as a new member.... Normally I would have rolled back over to sleep and thought 'next time'... I got up and went to the gym and worked out on some of the machines. So many times I will plan to do something and put forth all the effort to get ready for it... and then when it arrives I end up not doing it... and just dissappointing myself.
I was trying to figure out where I got this 'ALL OR NOTHING' attitude from and I think it comes from trying to be a perfectionist. I can also see where this is hurting me in my eating habits... typically (like a lot of other people apparently) when I eat something that I know I shouldn't it leads me down a path of a lot of bad decisions. By the time I am done I have made a 1000, 2000, 3000 calorie mistake.... and if I would've just accepted the fact that I did have something in the beginning and moved on.... then it would have only been a 200 or 300 calorie mistake. How is it that I allow myself to sabatoge myself?
Anyways, I'm back... I've been on track for the last 3 weeks. I've been getting my butt up at 4:30.... errr my husband has been getting my butt up at 4:30 in the morning to go to the gym and work out. I'm really feeling the changes. I'm really feeling great (except at 4:30 in the morning... then more sleep would be great).
Just wanted to let you know I'm alive!
I went back to my weight watchers meeting after being absent for a few months..... I've lost 12 lbs since February...... Ofcourse you know I told all those people the truth so they wouldn't think I had some magic secret...... But I can still be proud that a loss is a loss and I reached my 5% goal. My next personal goal is to get under that darn 200...... I keep getting close and then going up a little.
I've decided to go back and revisit my goals I've set for myself and create a few more. I don't feel like my life is heading in the right direction..... I'm now 27 and I don't have a lot to show for it. I just finished a book called 'A million bucks by 30' by Alan Corey...... Lemme just say I feel very very very behind. I definitely ain't a millionaire and with all these hospital visits I'm quickly going in the wrong direction!
I saw a book that I want to read called the 'Happiness Project'... From what I read the girl try out all these different things that are suppose to make you happy. Something about the book speaks to me...... I think it's the act of doing things in a positive light. I'm not sure more on that later.
It's Monday, hopefully the start of an awesome week!
Have a healthy and happy day!
Can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. I've been on checking up and reading other blogs.... Trying to get inspired. Up until yesterday I haven't had any energy. I've been laying around resting and not getting much done at all.
Well I weighed in and....... 202.2!
I was hoping to be in one-derland this week but I still had a loss.
I'm feeling really good now. I still have some stomach issues but it's becoming less noticeable. I'm going to start walking on the treadmill. I think that walking will help me rebuild enough strength so I can start adding in other exercises and help me get enough burn going that I'll have a daily calorie loss.
Well more lata
Have a happy and healthy one!
Still a loss! I've been 202 for a couple of days now. Not too bad at all I haven't been at this weight since July 2009. And I had a bit of an emotional breakdown and went from the 190s to the 220s where I have stayed until now. Well I'd like to forever be out of the 200s.
A change has come over me since I've been out of the hospital. I don't think/crave/worry about food anymore. I'll feel my tummy rumble and then I'm like 'oh let me get something to eat' I get a small something (I don't stuff myself anymore) and then move on to other things. It seems like before all I did was think about food. I also was constantly craving chocolate and ice cream...... It's been a month and I haven't had any candy, cookies, ice cream, chocolate (well I've had sugar free chocolate pudding if that really counts). I still have some stuff in my pantry and I see it but have no feeling or emotion about it. Before if would be like I could already taste it and I would walk out of the kitchen and continue thinking about it until I finally got it. Was I sick or what? Seriously that has to make me an addict or something. I don't want to have a food problem..... I want to enjoy food and move on. Am I cured? Has my hospital visit killed this addiction? I kind of doubt it (don't want to though). I think I'm not craving the sugar because it's been out of my system for so long. I'm going to be watching this and tracking my food.
Hope everyone else is having a great day! Happy and healthy one to all!
Feeling much better as each day goes by. I am going to start walking since that is the only kind of exercise I can do right now. My stomach is still really tender and I'm still getting winded if I do a little too much than I am ready for. I was so bummed.... On Monday I woke up and I weighed 200.4 and so I figured on Tuesday I would be 199..... well I was 202. I ate a lot more food on Monday than I have been eating though.... Still working on it. I'm still eating a lot less than I use to.... not planning on stretching my stomach out again. I'm excited though.... I'm getting close to the 190's and I haven't been below 192 ever!!! The last two times I got that low... I started gaining.... so my 1st goal is 199.... my second goal 191.... my third goal 180s.
Today I ate 1/2 cup of cherrios with milk and an applesauce. After work I had another applesauce and a chocolate diabetic milkshake (glucerna) and for dinner I had a homemade burger on a wheat bun and a chicken thigh and leg.
Started watching this show called 'Extreme Couponing' on TLC.... it's such a cool show. I love having coupons when I shop. These people are really extreme. In fact one woman had $1175.00 worth of groceries and after using all her coupons she walked out only paying $51.00. Isn't that awesome. I would do a lot of donating to a food bank with that kind of savings.... because let's face it.... who can eat 50 or 100 boxes of cereal before it expires?!?!?!?! So maybe that's a little extreme but you get the point. It would be nice to not only save a lot of money but to also give to those that need help. I love the idea. Between this and my gardening..... I'll be saving so much money.... and with the weight loss..... I can afford a new wardrobe!!!!
Well that's all for now. Tomorrow is my weigh in day so I will be posting how I've done for the week!
Hope everyone is having a healthy and happy week!
Wow.... I just decided to fold some laundry, sort out some loads into piles, and I took one to the washer to get it started and I am winded! Let me say though I have come a long way since I was released from the hospital. When I was released it was hard for me to stay standing for very long. In fact I would get winded trying to sing a song!
So my stomach is doing great. And I'm also still losing weight!! However I have had a throbbing, aching pain in my arm. During my hospital stay they inserted a picc line into my arm. Picc stands for peripherally inserted central catheter. This is so they don't have to keep sticking me for blood work or for my IV line etc... Well my arm has been hurting ever since a few days before it was removed. I started doing research online and let me admit I'm a little scared. There are people complaining of the same pain I have. Some saying they have nerve damage, some have had the pain for years, some have even lost mobility in their arms. My arm today feels like it's better than it's been. I've been trying to rest it as much as possible. Hopefully things will turn out well.
I ate a half a cup of cherios with some milk and a half a cup of cinnamon applesauce. I was so full!!!! I love this smaller stomach thing. Its great!
Tomorrow I'm suppose to go out with a friend. She mentioned going to one of my favorite restaurants called Don Pablos. Now Mexican food...... Enchiladas in particular won't go with my stomach anymore. I've been really careful to have nothing fried or nothing too fattening. So I've already decided that I would get the fajitas minus the tortillas. I'm proud of myself.
Thought I would give you guys an update, more lata.
Have a happy and healthy weekend!
I am 26 and have been trying to lose weight for the past 10 years. Something last year 'clicked' and here I am today. I started this blog to help me in being accountable to myself as well as to maybe help in providing motivation to others. Thank you for coming along on my journey. Feel free to e-mail me at:
AmberlyBrowne5 at aol dot com